putting it together

i spent most of this weekend putting together two sets of shelves.

they're lovely.

and modern.

and moderately priced.

but god damn it, i was fuckin' sweating.

so here's me with these cubits shelves from design with in reach spread all over the family room floor while watching "i shot andy warhol" on indiplex, trying to keep the dog from eating the plastic bits that are littering the floor, sweat trickling down my back. why?

because, these fucking shelves were like Ikea on meth.

no written directions, just pictures that took me about a half an hour to figure out. thafter trying several possibilities, i finally got it. i get the whole thing together, and it's good, but then there's this part where you have to stick these hard plastic pins into these little holes. in order for the pins to go into said little holes, everything has to be lined up just right.

so here comes the sweating.

i'm pushing on the shelves with all my might, using my arms, squeezing with my thighs. and most of them will go in. but there's those few that just won't go. so i try like five different pins in the hopes that maybe, just maybe there was some kind of utterly improbably factory error and the pins are subtly different sizes. what's odd, is that it works. well, sometimes.

finally, it was done.

i flopped back on the carpet, watching the movie through the book shelves and swigged my now warm beer. the previously mentioned dog licked my nose.

properly rested i decided to carry the bookshelves up to the office. of course it would have been more sensible to put the shelves together in my office, but i don't have cable up there. and, i've already watched all the DVDs in the house. so, putting them together in the living room with cable access made the most sense.

needless to say, the bookshelves fell apart while i was carrying them through the kitchen. i swore, wiped my sticky hair out of my face, put them back together and managed to get them up the stairs and into the office.

where they looked fabulous.

and that, was my utterly glamorous saturday night

cookie cutters

so, i realized something a few years ago.

as much as i'd like to beleive that i am unique or different. it's just not true.

i'm a femme lesbian with tattoos who does burlesque.

i love the indigo girls. and Tribe8 (and always will even though they broke up).

i spent last saturday sitting on my couch, watching Sex and the City and addressing my wedding invitations.

i have two pairs of Manolo Blahniks. and i hadn't heard of them before Sex and the City.

i'm trite.

i feel as if i should maybe care about this. but, on a very basic level, i just don't. there's a reason that stereotypes exist - there's often truth in them. i don't think i've viewed them as a checklist. but i have fallen into them. and quite frankly, some fit my self rather well.

so even though i'm one of thousands of women who bought balhniks after seeing them on Sex and the City - those fucking shoes make me happy. in fact my feet are tingling just thinking about them - especially that pair that are the lace up granny shoes with black velvet and patent leather. mmmm, shoes are good.

my heart literally raced faster at the beginning of the Devil Wears Prada when they had all the shoe shots.

i think i inherited my shoe problem from my mother. i used to make fun of her. now i am her. yep - another cliche. and i'm living it.

bored

isn't that how all blogs start?

by a bored girl/boy/boi/undefined person sitting at work and staring at the computer?

i'm so bored at work right now, i could kill someone. no worries. i won't really kill anyone. it's too messy. but, i will, shoot people grumpy, ugly looks.

i work for the government. and all of those jokes you've heard about how government employees don't work? yeah, well, they're true. it's frankly shocking. i've spent most of my work life in the non-profit field where there's one person doing the work of three. i'm used to working hard. and i can't stand being bored.

the good thing is, i'm leaving this deeply soul sucking job in the very near future. i'm just waiting to hear what the date will be. in the mean time, my attitude gets progressively worse. which isn't really like me. although i can be a bit grinchy about things like christmas and wedding showers, in general, i'm a bit of a sunshiney pollyanna.

alright. i'm now going to take my grumpy ass off and do some actual work. that should take about 15 minutes. then i'll read gawker, the new york times and the post for the third time today. hmmm, maybe then i'll take a walk.