sandinista nostalgia - warning maudlin

Daniel Ortega is running for President of Nicaragua again.

That takes me back

To the early 90s, when i was running around with a bunch of activists, protesting US aid to El Salvador.

It's funny how when i think of that time, I remember the physical. The smells, the tastes, the sights, the light. It was a good time in my life. A time I'm proud of.

When i went to college, i wanted to have an FBI file by the time i graduated. I think i succeeded. And, because of the work of a lot of people, the United States actually stopped sending military aid to El Salvador. A peace treaty happened. The war in El Salvador stopped. The country is still in need of a lot of help, but people aren't being ripped from their beds and "disappeared" on a regular basis anymore. Nuns aren't being raped, murdered and left in a ditch.

The 90s were a crazy time. It was a time when the work of the past several decades bore fruit. The wall came down. Apartheid ended. Clinton was elected. Twice. I saw that there was actually power in activism. That there were results.

Then I forgot.

Now, i look at the war in Iraq and I feel helpless. I read about terrorism. I feel helpless. There is so much that is wrong. I want to legally marry my wife. I'm worried that we'll lose our right to abortion. Hell, I'm worried that in 20 years i'll be living in waterfront property. Which won't actually be very nice. We won't be able to swim in the water. it'll be a toxic dump full of a city that's no longer above sea level.

I vote. I give a little bit of money to political organizations. I go to my government job and advocate for the population we serve. But it feels like nothing i do will make a difference.

I must be wrong.

Because the wall came down. Apartheid ended. I married my wife and my parents were at the wedding. With big grins on their faces. i'm out at work. people can't remember why marriage between people of different races was illegal. some things are better.

Maybe it's time for me to get off my ass. And start trying to make a difference again.